When my husband and I were thinking of when to fix our wedding date and were so in love that we just couldn’t wait to be together, as far as we were concerned, love was all that mattered and we would make it no matter what. He was looking for a job but none was forthcoming. My parents then insisted we halt our wedding plans and wait for him to get a job. He was quite disappointed at the time to be honest but I trusted my parents’ advice and I knew they wanted the best for us. So, we waited till he got a job and we continued with our plans. Looking back now, we are grateful for that wisdom from our parents. Things were not so smooth at the beginning even with one source of income, I couldn’t get a job as soon as we had imagined, so I wonder how things would have been if he didn’t have a job. Indeed love is blind, marriage opens the blind eyes.

The importance of money in a home cannot be over emphasized. No wonder many spouses have several misunderstandings when it is not enough or when not managed well. Some marriages end in divorce due to irreconcilable differences on finance matters. I posted a status a few days ago saying “Look for a job before you look for a wife” and I was really baffled by how some people thought it was ok for men to get married without having a job! This sincerely beats my imagination. I am not one that likes arguing with people; hence I would like to throw more light on this issue.

The Bible still remains the standard. Many of the Bible heroes were farmers, shepherds, fishermen etc. They had something doing and were able to fend for their homes. When God said “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him (Gen 2:18), it’s important to know what God really meant by that statement. It is noteworthy to realise, at the time, Adam was in God’s presence, he was fulfilling God’s purpose for his life and he was tending the garden God had placed in His care. That was the man that was not good for him to be alone… Any other man – the one that does not know God, not fulfilling purpose and does not have a job – it is good for that man to be alone!!! Being a husband is not just a title, it comes with a lot of responsibilities, one of which includes providing for your home and taking very good care of your wife. A woman should not be saddled with that responsibility at the beginning of marriage. If a man cannot take care of himself, he certainly cannot take care of a woman. Such a man does not need a wife yet, what he needs is a job.

Yes, the husband and his wife are one but they both have different responsibilities for the smooth running of marriage. This does not in any way discourage women from working. The wife should support her husband. In fact her income should be seen as theirs but a woman should not be made to have to work in order to provide for her family because her husband does not have a job. In marriage, if the husband loses his job and the wife has to help in this regard, that’s understandable but the man must be seeking ways to fend for his family as soon as possible.

You can employ yourself by applying your knowledge, skills and experience in many ways while waiting for that white collar job. All you need to do is identify the needs of people and find a way of meeting those needs and making money as a result. This is not theory because I have put it to good use too. This is the same advice for those who get married and lose their jobs. Becoming a husband is not child’s play, it is not a joke, women and children are expensive to maintain and so you should be ready for such a great responsibility. I am not saying you should have millions in your bank account before you get married, or have a massive paying job, all I am saying is ensure that you have the means to put food on the table, pay your bills and take care of your wife before you get married. Experience they say is the best teacher but you can choose to be wise and not have to experience the mistakes others have made. The choice is yours. God bless you!

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