Last weekend I had the privilege of attending the New Zealand National Interschool Chess Competition with my sons.

I was so proud of them as they were part of the team that represented their school.

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It was an intense competition. One of my sons lost three consecutive rounds and was feeling disappointed and defeated. I could see through him, so I called him aside to have a chat. He didn’t want to talk about it initially, eventually, he did.

He said to me ‘I’m not a good player, they are better than me’ as he became teary. He went on to tell me the mistakes he made that made him lose those rounds.

Then I hugged him, wiped his tears, acknowledged his feelings and provided him with some strategies for the next game.

I then looked into his eyes, called his name and said to him - ‘No one is better than you; they may be doing better but they are not better than you!’ Then, I kissed him and gave him a high five.

Guess what? He went in for the next round and won it! He won another round again after that and gave me a big hug and was all smiles. His confidence was restored.

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Why have I shared this?

A lot of times in life, we go through challenging situations that make us feel deflated. All we need is a positive voice around us to cheer us on and validate us.

Are you feeling discouraged just like my son did? I’d like to encourage you today.

Look into the mirror and say to yourself ‘No one is better than me; they may be doing better but they are not better than me’.

Now get back on your feet and try again. You will succeed if you don’t give up!

I believe in you.

© Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner